Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Hump day of shakes

So, I've made it to day 3!  The hardest 3 days when you are on shakes.  I'm feeling quite good.  I haven't been very hungry and I'm finding that I'm not tempted by other foods as much as what I was when I had to be on shakes. The only part that I have to get right now is my exercise.  I have only been to the gym once in the last 3 days.  I'll make sure that I go for a walk with the kids tonight just to get the blood pumping a bit :)

I'm happy that I seem to be back on track.  It's been a long time coming.  I feel good for it.  Everything seems to be falling into place :) 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Shaking to get rid of my wobble

Over the weekend I decided that I would go on shakes again for a while.  I know they work, they are quick and easy and I really need to lose a good chunk of weight to get my mojo back fully.

I went to the gym today.  First time in God knows how long.  I promised myself that I would do half an hour on the treadmill (which I did).  I was so hot afterwards.  When I walked out of the gym, I was glad that it had started to rain as it cooled me down on my way to the car.

I've been trying to remember some of the things that kept me motivated when I was doing so well many moons ago.  I was so healthy.  I was posting on the banding together forum, I was reading books by those who have had great success with the lap band, i was eating well, exercising - everything was in sync.  I plan on getting back to that mindset.

I start back at work next week which will make things a little more challenging.  I plan on getting up before everyone else does and going to the gym before coming home and getting ready for work.  I'll have the weekends as rest days.  I can do this.  I just have to keep reminding myself of that :)

Friday, September 27, 2013

It's been 5 months since my last blog...

I can't believe how fast time flies.  It's been 5 months since my last blog.  I thought I should write something at least!

On Wednesday, I saw Dr Winnett for the first time since April.  I didn't want to get on the scales (I was really worried that I'd gone into the 220's) but I am 196.4kg.  I've actually lost 16kg (or thereabouts) since I saw him last.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I spoke to him about the fact that a month ago I had been in Hospital for 12 days with Cellulitus on my 'fatty apron' (I HATE that expression) and he said to me that in 30kg time, he'll refer me to have a tummy tuck so that the problems that I am having with my 'fatty apron' are just a bad memory.  Is that something to motivate me or what?  I am so excited and motivated by the prospect of a tummy tuck.  I will lose around 15kg - 20kg just by having it removed.  It is so heavy and does weigh me down a lot.

My cruise is all booked :) I can't wait.  We are not flying to Sydney (where it departs) but we are going to drive.  Airfares alone for all of us would be around $1200 but there is no way I'd be getting on a plane at this weight.  We're off in March so I have time to lose some weight before then.

Today I am going to book some PT sessions at the gym and start getting back into that once the Kids go back to School.  I am feeling excited about that.  It will be good to get back into the swing of things.

I'll write more in the coming days.  Thank you for your support xo

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Feeling a bit down :/

I'm feeling a bit down tonight.  I've had an interesting few days.

I went to see Dr Winnett yesterday.  I waited for quite some time to see him.  He wasn't able to locate my port to do my fill so he told me I'd need to go into the City to have it done under XRay.  When I got into the car after seeing him, I just started to cry.  I have put on more weight.  I'm now 211kg.  I couldn't believe it.  I still can't believe it.  I just keep going backwards.  I know it's because I'm not motivated to exercise at the moment and my diet hasn't been very good.  And I know that these have been my choices.  And yes, I have beat myself up about it quite a bit.  And no, I didn't want to write this blog as quite frankly, I'm ashamed of what I've done. 

I went Olympic Imaging to get my fill done.  It took them an hour and a half as there were some problems with the port.  At first, they thought that it had flipped again as it was on such a strange angle.  Then they drained 60ml of fluid that had built up around the port.  This made it easier for the Doctor to put the fill in.  He put 1ml in (I now have 6ml in my band) and I had to stay for 15 minutes to make sure that it wasn't too much.  I have to go back in 2 weeks where they'll assess if I need to have more Surgery.

I went home feeling numb.  

Today, I've felt a bit better.  I can only have fluids as my band is a bit tight which is making me feel miserable.  I' also had some pain in the port site.  I will call Dr Winnett's rooms tomorrow.

I need to start going back to the gym.  I'll start back next week once my fill and port has settled down.  I'm a bit excited as I'm going on a cruise sometime this year which will mean hopping on a plane.  I don't want to be this big and fly so having to stick to fluids is probably not such a bad thing.

I see Dr Winnett again in 4 weeks.  I hope and will try to be under 200kg by that time.  I hate being this weight.

I also see Natasha on Saturday.  She's my Psychologist.  I am going to talk to her about emotional eating.  I don't understand it.  I mean, I get the fact that I pick up something and eat it when I'm down but I cant keep doing this.  It's simply not healthy.  I don't know why I do it.  Luckily I can't right now.  I can emotionally drink... now there's an idea :)

Monday, March 25, 2013

2.6kg down in 2 weeks

Normally when I am not blogging, it means that I'm not doing anything.  But on this occasion  I am doing things but I am just quiet!

I've fully recovered from my surgery and had my check up with Dr Winnett last week.  He was very pleased with how I'm going.  I was weighed and I've lost 2.6kg.  I'm not under 200kg yet but I am well on my way.

I'm really enjoying the classes at Fernwood.  I had my first personal training session on Thursday and that went really well.  I didn't pull up too sore which is great.

Although I don't have a lot to write about, I am happy with how I am going.

Today was a bit tough.  I have a few stressful events going on at the moment.  I spent most the day in bed.  I think I'm just anxious.  I made myself go to the gym tonight.  I didn't feel like it all but I thought that going would do me good.  Which it did.  I did a cycle class and feel fantastic because of it.  It was really hard to push myself out the door tonight.  I am so happy that I did.  I proved a lot to myself tonight and am very proud.

Tomorrow I am going to get the class timetable and work out what classes I am going to do.  I had aimed for one a day but have been bit slack in the past week.  I shall need to change that this week :)

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Big, fat slug

Today I did Body Pump for the first time in about 5 years.  It was awesome.

For those who are not familiar with body pump, it's an hour long exercise session where you work on your back, butt, quads, biceps, triceps - everything.  There's lots of squats, lunges, lifts and It's done to music and is really intense.  When I used to be at Fernwood, I was the Body Pump QUEEN!  I was awesome.  Today, not so much.

I used smaller weights today so that I could just get used to the technique before going up a notch but within the first 5 minutes, I was almost ready to walk out the door because I was SO tired!  There was so much getting up and getting down.  I drank almost 1.5 liters of water during the class as I was working so hard.  And because I was so sweaty, the only thing I can really imagine I would have looked like is a big fat slug!  I felt like Jabba the Hutt when we were doing some of the weights as my chin was stuck into my chest!  I managed to get through the whole session and was a tiny bit sore afterwards, more so now that it is night and my muscles are having time to do what they do best. 

I have my first PT session in a few weeks which I am really looking forward to.  I have told her that I will do whatever it takes.  

I am considering doing cycle again tomorrow morning or I will be doing step in the afternoon.  Not sure which one yet but so long as I do one class per weekday, I will be keeping on track.

I made these really nice lean meatballs for dinner tonight.  They were full of chicken, carrot, onion, herbs - I loved them but the younger kids weren't so sure (anything with carrot in it is normally a no no for them).

I see Jason Winnett next Wednesday.  And I want to be under 200kg.  I hope I am.  I am working towards it but as long as I know that I am doing my best to achieve my goal, that is all I can do :)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

P.S body - we're doing it again tomorrow...

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone once again for enquiring as to how I have been over the past week.  I'm 8 days post op and I am feeling fantastic.

I changed my dressing on the weekend to a new one but ended up taking it all off other than the steri strips as it was irritating me although most of the strips have fallen off now.  My wound is looking lovely :) well, as lovely as a wound can look.  I haven't had any pain killers for 2 days now (of any kind - endone, panadol etc...). 

Dr Winnett's handy work

I just got back from doing my first class at Melton Fernwood.  I chose to do spin bike.  Ouch.  My bum.  My legs.  My quads.  And my bum again.  It was so good to do half an hour of gruelling exercise that knowing how good it was for me put me off my dinner (literally).  Anything that hurts that much is not worth undoing with wrong carbs and a sugary drink.  Instead, I had an Optifast shake and shall drink heaps of water to keep me content throughout the evening.  I am going to do BodyPump in the morning.  Don't tell me that though - as my body may change it's mind!

One of my friends asked where I get my motivation from.  If you are a regular reader of my blog, you'd probably know that I don't know the answer to that as like anyone, I have many CBF moments and times where I just try and ignore what is going on but I think tonight I worked out where some of it comes from.  It's when you find something that you enjoy doing more than what you're already doing.  I enjoy getting a sore bum and legs and quads and sweating bucket loads in a cycle class more than I do not being able to put a seat belt on.  I enjoy being around like minding people who are all there for the same thing and don't care what you look like rather than sitting at home with no motivation.  It's a no brainer really.  And next time I lose my motivation, I need to read this and give myself a good kick up the butt as I am going to see this year out with massive changes. 

Someone also said to me the other day about how much weight I have put on since my last surgery.  Sure, I put on around 30 kilograms.  But hey - I've still lost 50 kilograms.  It's seeing the good things and the things that you should be proud of rather than the bad things.